Well i guess i finally froze the raindrops outside my window...

i thought this was the best line i ever came up with:

I'll miss you like the rain drops outside my window.
just a little bit each time but i miss you all the time...

i guess it has something to do with people calling it showers of love and affection.

i thought of it when i was sick one morning,
awoken by your caring thoughts.

somehow i managed to lie to myself,
to deceive myself that someone like you, a silly person made of butter, sugar and chocolate,
would have the same feelings too.

what pathetic lenghts i went through to tell myself,
to comfort myself that i could have been happy like i was.

if only the world would be that easy,
we all wouldn't have to work this hard...

what a funny feeling falling,
i guess that's why they call it falling?
because you never know when it's going to end?
because you know when it ends, no matter which way, it's still going to hurt.

a window has many views.
some people find the best views in the world, in some things simple.
and some people just look,
look,
on the other side of the glass.

to turn a window into a door,
is more often than not a difficult thing to do.
not every window needs to be turned into a door,
not every window can be turned into a door.
and sometimes we have to draw the curtains to the windows that we can't turn into doors.

so i think now i have not frozen the raindrops,
i was lying again,
because i cannot change what is on the other side if i don't go out,
i can only draw the curtains to that window that i like so much,
to cover that view.
but,
that does not stop you from hearing the pitter patter of the raindrops.

the people in your life are like windows aren't they?
some are grand glass windows,
some a small quaint window,
some open up to you,
and some slide away from you.
some of them are panes,
some of them are french,
some let in a breath of fresh air,
some of them are colourful,
some of them look just the same,

some of them can be turned into doors, if you remove the glass,

but the ones that rain on the other side,
you should always keep shut.

can you give up your believes, if they are so perfect, it's unachievable to many?

what is wrong when time after time, the same problem arises?

why jump into a rage? why?






i feel,

the ouside slowly hardening,

i can't breath...











i feel,

the inside falling,

falling to a place i never knew,

i feel cold, cold from within,

i'm lost,

confused,

why should it hurt to be right?







soon, i think soon,

it'll be alright...

either i have steeled myself cold,


or to fall too long, into the little place,




a small little place that you put me.




is it so sad that when you cry, you mock yourself?





i can't breath







i can't breath.





























i can't breath.

You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death
And from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
But you'll never find
Peace of mind
Till you listen to your heart

People
You can never change the way the feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart from you
People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through

Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and lies
So goodbye
But please don't take my heart

You are far
I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart
Maybe I'll be strong enough
I don't know where to start
But I'll never find
Peace of mind
While I listen to my heart

But remember this
Every other kiss
That you'll ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with
I will wait for you
Like I always do
There's something there
That can't compare with any other

You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death
And from my heart
Strange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
I guess you were kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool

have you ever been happy before? like just happy? something that makes you smile and smile and you don't ever want to change that moment in time?

well sometimes thinking about you will make me smile....

you are different in my dreams, but you are everything that i hope you would be...

love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart, like why are we here and where do we go, and how come it's so hard.

it's not always easy but life can be deceiving , and it's always when we're together.

i like to close the curtains and pretend that there's no world outside, and it's just me and you, and not so many things we got to do. and if the telephone rings, we don't have to pick it up, we don't need to, because we've got everything we need right here, and everything we need is enough. it's just so easy when the whole world fits in side of your arms, we really don't have to pay attention to anything else.

all of these dreams find a way into my dreams, but they'll be gone when the morning light sings, and brings new things, for tomorrow night, they'll be gone too, too many things i got to do.

but sometimes, all of things dreams might find a way into my day to day scene, and I'll be under the impression that i was somewhere in between.

in between dreams

it's a very nice feeling to know that people care... haha
and although i'm the lousy person i am, i'm thankful for those out there that care for me...

well cheryl is comin back in a few days and i can't wait to see her again, after that long long time of being in Austalia....

slowly, slowly, my life is falling back into place again,
thanks to all these people who always seem to make things right...

i've got alot of growing up to do....

thanks for everything... i'm so happy today...