oki'm now listening to some sad songs, and i'm in the mood to type on my blog, like a said before, i only do this when i'm feeling sad...

i have lost friends, and that's true

i have lost my friend, ya it pretty sad as it sounds but frankly i'm not really that affected, because i know whatever that person said or did said it from their heart, and it breaks my heart to know that they don't really care about me... but themself, it's more inportant for them to look good with me, i'm human, i have flaws but if you can't really accept a person with flaws you call yourself a friend? how dare you?! so i guess it's ok that i lose some of these people in my life, cause they are not worth it...

i'm not angry, cause it's not worth it.
i don't feel sad over losing the person, but i feel sad for losing a friendship...
i'm sorry it can't work out but we have very different agendas so i guess it's better for each of us anyway....

other then losing a friend, i feel like i'm losing my life, i'm getting a new one, i don't really know if it's better, i lovethe people around me, more then i ever do in my life, i guess that i wish to keep these people, but the truth is that some will move on, and only some will stay, but in my life i love them all...

i'm neglecting my friends i know, but i hope they know that everyday i sit at my computer and in front sits a picture of all of then smiling, together, that i browse through the few hundred photos from time to time, of the captured moments of happiness, but i'm always a person who doesn't dare act out.

i need them to know that i have a few biger things to do, i know sometimes it may not be the time for me to do it, but it happens and thats how it goes.

i feel kinda bad but you know i went overseas and i only bought things for them.. haha not even family... opps...

i value them, love them, miss them... but as it is i cannot fulfil my duties, and it's irresponsible of me... even though i have bigger things at hand...

hopefully they will stay long enough to understand what i'm doing....
i think it's a bigger calling, then boring studying... oh they know, i not exactly puntual on handing in homework.. haha...

anyways, i just hope that my new life would be better, cause i'm not exactly enjoying every minute f it, but i'm not sad, i just think it's a little fast, i'm put outside my usual la la land, i guess that why, so i think it's time for me to stand up to the real world, or maybe still take a little time to stand up, cause i know once i do, i won't be sitting very soon... but stand up i must.. very soon.. hee....

if you understand everything, drop me a note....