yester day day was cheryl's only day with me and she blew me off, well not the whole day but half to 3/4 of it.... but she was doing her stuff for australia ...

do you believe in god? i think after the day before i did think that there was this light up there in the universe that was watching us.. but i didn't expect him to show up so soon.... maybe mid-life or something like that....

(oh... to christians reading this, no offense but i think god isn't just jeus!)
(the following may sound crazy to you, but i did impact me i little....)

so when i left my house, i was going to take the bus, but hey, she said she'll be late so might as well walk rite? burn off some of those fats since i hardly exercise...

then not more than 3 min after i started walking that the bus came.. and i was like "shit should have took the bus!"-by the way, i'm pretty lazy.

but i suddenly thought of her, and i was thinking how this was my life....

see now everytime cheryl called me to go out with her and "reserved" me for the day, i would say okie to her, then come that day or the day before, i would ring her up and cancel on her, sometimes for my friends, sometimes for my work and what have you not.... i know i suck.... but she always asked, and now that she was leaving(at that point in time) i felt i have let so many chances pass me by, like that bus.... just like that

so i didn't think much of it and continued walking. then there came a junction, and i had a choice, either walk striaght or cross, well i decided walk stright and just at that moment, the green man sginaled to cross and i was like--hello up there, message recieved now what do i do? i was pretty amazed by how all these happened at once... and that was not all, through out my walking journey to her place(15 min away) i kept missing chances to cross the road, to do things..... is this a sign?

i know this may sound lame to you but it's really something to me....

i ened up buying her dinner that night, i was planning to bring her out somewhere nice, but we were both tired and lazy asses, so we just ordered pizza instead.. haha... then after dinner we went to mustafa center to get some stuff, and we walked the night bazar after that and then went home...

that night i stayed up writing her a letter and coming up with little things for her to remember me.... it was torture! my eyes just kept watering.... i couldn't help it.... she was really leaving....

6 years we've been through, through enedless nights of talking, 6 years where we called each other up at 4 am at times just to talk and confide our woes....

6 years is not enough....

6 years is not enough....

sorry can't write now....

kane